Undone and Unsaid

"I love you.  I'll see you again this weekend."  

I left.  I could never have imagined that those would be my last words to her...my Nana.  The woman who had raised my own mother - granted, imperfectly at times - but one of the very few people I loved so dearly.  She had improved so much, while we visited her in the hospital that weekend, that we hoped she would go through rehab and come live with us afterwards.  I never thought this feisty woman of such life would ever dare leave this world bereft of her unforgettable presence.

Three days later she was gone.  The first pain was realizing those had been my last words; I had desperately wanted to be there to hold her hand, kiss her gentle face, and tell her "I love you" more times than one could count.  Saying goodbye to her at the service was an awful feeling of solemnity and finality.  The full reality has still not sunk in, and I am waiting for the day I consciously accept the fact and break down.

I want to say that I have truly learned the importance of people and how precious life really is; but until that moment of final acceptance arrives, I fear I do not really know.  What I can say is that she was an amazing lady, despite her faults, and always generous with her time and love towards me.  I miss her and always will fondly remember her as the fiery - sometimes ornery - but always loving woman she was: my Nana.  She certainly was larger than life.  Hugs and kisses! xoxo
Love,
Annie

"Every single day that I can breathe, you change my philosophy
I'm never gonna let you pass me by
So don't say your goodbyes you know its better that way
....
It's just a moment of change"

All We Are - OneRepublic

R.I.P. Nana